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REALITY TV AROUND THE GLOBE By Julie Nicholson

It's no secret that the reality craze has turned TV programming on its side: cheap shows garnering mega ratings means that now everyone's trying to get into the lucrative reality TV biz. In April ABC's 20/20 -- yes the 'news' magazine 20/20 -- aired a contest between five couples with the winning couple getting to adopt a real live baby. So you can’t curse on American network TV but you can give away a human being like a puppy.

The reality TV trend extends way beyond American borders, however. It's a truly global trend phenomenon infiltrating homes around the world.

For those of you who think that we Americans have sunk to all time reality lows, it may be that British reality TV has us beat with their ever so popular There's Something About Miriam. Turns out that while viewers knew from the start that Miriam was a male/female transsexual, the contestants, which included a Royal Marine Commando, an ex lifeguard and a ski instructor, did not. Contestants were encouraged to kiss, hug and cuddle with Miriam. And get this: they find out the truth three weeks into the show when Miriam lifts up his skirt! Fortunately the Marine wasn't armed. The male contestants are suing Sky TV and the shows producers, one of whom was punched out by the Marine. The show has been shelved.

European broadcasters did have the sense to turn down Make Me A Mum, a show being shopped by reality giant Endemol, in which a group of male contestants compete to become the sperm donor to a women who agrees to become impregnated. The twist -- there's always a twist -- is that the two final contestants will be chosen by biological compatibility or personal compatibility, love or science. Now shopping the show in the USA, Endemol has decided not to use microscopic cameras to view the journey of the sperm. Further, there's talk of Endemol forming a contest for a Reality Show called Sperm Race. Could someone hose down these guys?

In an effort to put Chinese reality TV on the map, producer Sarah Zhang chronicled an eight-day odyssey shot on a $60,000 budget called Quest USA in which four teams of young people steeped in Chinese culture from Hong Kong, Taiwan and the US compete against each other on a weird road trip through New England, The Amish Country, the Rural South, and Miami Beach. Not quite sure how they compete but the twist is that instead of going for each others jugular -- like American reality TV teammates -- these guys display the Chinese sensibility of cooperation and team work…and making it hard to weed them out. Now there’s a new reality concept.

Star Academy is a talent contest featuring sixteen young men and women living in a house. Sound familiar? Oh, but the house is in Beirut. The edited version airs on Friday nights but hardcore junkies can get seven day twenty-four hour access via the Arbscat Satellite. The contestants take classes, cook, clean, and perform. The winner gets a recording contract. The show is a cultural phenomenon but has been denounced by Sheikh Abdul Al-Sudias and outlawed claiming the bonding between the sexes was "killing shame and honor in the hearts of Muslims."

Reality TV has even infiltrated Baghdad. Picture it: we open on a humble clay house that has been ravished by war on one of the cities meanest streets. A knock on the door. An impoverished man opens the door. "Surprise! We have presents for you," exclaims host Shaima Emad Zubair, batting her blue-mascaraed eyelashes. Labor and Materials is Iraq's version of Extreme Home Makeover and the country's first Reality Show. In fifteen-minute episodes shot over six weeks, houses blasted by US bombs are repaired. The true irony lies in the fact that these refurbished houses will be subject to subsequent bombings and destruction. As the crew pulls away from the completed house they film the aftermath of a bombing that just took place down the street. Now that's reality.

Like it or not, reality TV is here to stay, firmly anchored in every corner of the planet.